I've never been on two road trips in five days before and it was an interesting experience! I can't stand the word "interesting" but I can't think of any better word right now either, probably because I'm exhausted. The trip to Athens was bittersweet. I surprised Matt with a call the night we got there since couldn't wait to introduce him to Bec and Mone, and I also hadn't seen him since the surgery. He showed up over an hour late than he said and after a while he didn't say much and I could barely even get him to smile. Also, right now Bec, Mone and I are really strapped for cash so we were all watching every dollar and trying to get money from each other. That made it kind of hard for us to enjoy ourselves when we went out (although at home we did obssessively play Puzzle Bobble/Bust-a-Move 4 on my roommate's Dreamcast, which was pretty fun). We were really excited to try out the brand new DDR 4th Mix Plus in the Tate gameroom, but it was $.75 a pop, the pads weren't broken in at all, and to top it off they had the volume set pretty low and were also blaring R&B shit over the gameroom speakers. It was really disappointing. Bec and Mone ran out of money before I did but since I paid for Bec's bus fare and for our gas for the trip, I wanted to use my last couple dollars myself. It was pretty selfish of me but I didn't realize it at the time, and it left us all feeling pretty irate. That night I went out with Matt for a couple hours. We got dinner and hung out at his place and talked, and it was basically the same as before-- instead of being really excited and happy to see me, he was depressed. It hurt that I couldn't cheer him up, but it hurts even more just knowing that he's feeling down. I don't know how I can help him but I'm going to do whatever I can, because he doesn't deserve to feel like this. I had all this on my mind for the drive back this morning, getting in just in time to change and head to work. I was looking forward to earing some good money tonight but it was such a slow night that they cut me almost an hour early, which means I'm not going to make hardly anything. At this rate I'm going to have to get a second job. This time last summer I was already making piles of money, I ran around with my friends all day and I didn't have a care in the world! Now I'm broke and the mortage is due, my friends are pissed at me, my boyfriend's three hours away and feeling depressed, and I have cancer. And I just remembered I'm supposed to be up in four hours to get some more fucking blood work done. More needles and more tests and more cancer. GODDAMMIT! |