whoops

It's getting harder and harder to ignore the fact that I don't belong at UGA, or in Georgia or the south in general. As a freshman the thought of being a stranger in a strange land was novel. Gradually (and naively) I convinced myself that I could change things to suit me, but that obviously can't and won't happen. Now, I'm keenly aware every day that I'm living in the midst of people who hold entirely different values than mine, who hold opinions I don't agree with and who cherish a way of life that seems completely foreign to me. UGA is focused on almost entirely on football, bar-hopping, SUVs, God and conservatism (in that order), and I have a pronounced disinterest in all of these things. When I came here I didn't know that UGA is also proud to be one of the biggest party schools in the nation, but I sure as hell learned it quickly. I'm glad I've been exposed to these things, because new experiences are the foundation of growth, and of course I'm not implying that my way of life is better than anyone else's, but there's nothing constructive about this almost complete alienation. Every day the little voice in the back of my head that asks, What are you doing here? is growing louder and louder, and I don't have an answer for it. What would it be like to live someplace that interests me and feels like home, and to be in a university surrounded by people I can relate to? I don't know, but I'd like to. All I know now is that if I stay here I'm going to be graduating for a university I don't respect with a degree I have no pride in. I'm too young to feel that hollow.