Jon held a Guilty Gear XX tourney tonight; about ten people showed up and I came in second place. Now I'm trying to decide if I'm too tired to head back to campus and see The Ring with everyone at midnight!

http://www.emotioneric.com

More new art-- Paean. I kind of rushed through this to work on other things. Someday I'll go back and do it the way I really envision it.

The Unreal Estate Boom: Matt linked me to this excellent article about how multiplayer RPGs like EverQuest and Ultima Online have actual economies and, what's more, are energating profits in the real world. There are people who make six-figure incomes in the real world by brokering items for people in these games! It seems so... pathetic, and yet it's so smart that I'm impressed and almost envious. But it seems the line between fantasy in reality is another step closer to annihilation.

Him: I see now why I'm so worked up.
Me: Why?
Him: Cuz he's cute and Croatian (with an accent) and plays piano and makes bangin' coffee.
Him: That's like, 95% of everything I want in a man.
Me: What's the other 5%?
Him: Oh you know, personality and stuff.

Hard to believe the weekend is already over. Last night Matt and I went to A Taste of Athens, a big annual fundraiser that features samples of different restaurants in the city-- this year there were close to seventy. The pictures don't really give you an impression of how absolutely gigantic the place was-- and it was packed, too. I can't wait to go back next year.

New art in the works-- Peridot.

Since I have half an hour till the bus home arrives, here I am in the lab. Some fascinating news for your reading pleasure:

Whereas early feminists campaigned tirelessly for improved health care and safe, legal access to abortion, often against a backdrop of public indifference or hostility, today's feminist asserts control over her biological destiny by wearing a baby-doll T-shirt with the word "Hoochie" spelled in glitter. "Don't tell this bitch what to do," said Kari Eastley, 24, a participant in the Oberlin study and, according to one of her T-shirts, a "Slut Goddess." "I wear what I want when I want, and no man is going to tell me otherwise. We're talking Pussy Power, baby."

Also try: http://thingsmygirlfriendandihavearguedabout.com.

This week's WTF: Harry Potty Ecstacy?

It seems that the key to my creativity is having long, horrifyingly boring books that I'm supposed to be reading for class! Here's a doodle from late last night and early this morning (anyone who wonders what I look like bald, here you go). Interestingly enough, after I uploaded it a few minutes ago I decided to sift through my webspace to clear out old files and found this picture from summer '01 that has a similar pose. It makes me feel good to know that after two and a half years, I can now do (and do better) in a dumb time-killing doodle what I used to have to agonize over in my sketchbook. On the other hand there's also the fact that I still can't capture a lot of what I envision and am light years behind where I'd like to be, but hey.

I found out today that my next CT scan and the surgery to remove the portacath from my chest have been moved up a week, to March 3rd. After this post I will be trying not to think about it.

After work I went over to Matt's (conveniently located right down the street) and we made dinner. This Saturday I'm helping him pick out a new computer, a leather recliner and a home gym, and Sunday we're heading to Atlanta to have lunch with my sister and bro-in-law; it should be a lot of fun. Just one failed Lit-reading quiz to go before my weekend starts...

Why isn't anyone else ever up this early?

More cheerful news: More Than 120 Die in Arson Attack on South Korean Subway; Chicago to File Charges in Deadly Stampede at Nightclub; Bush Says Worldwide Protests Won't Change Approach to Iraq... I just want to curl up in bed and wait until all of this chaos is over.

Finally finished the Osseous drawing. I haven't ever done shading like this before and I really liked doing it. Now for homework, hooray...

I left the house at 10am yesterday morning and just got home a couple hours ago. After changing my major-- I'm officially an English major now-- and meeting my new advisor, I went to work and then spent the rest of Valentine's day with Matt. We went to an art show opening (which really made me want to start painting again), had dinner out and then stayed up until 2am talking about anything and everything. Today we drove to Commerce to do some shopping and now I'm home and planning to get a lot of rest tonight so I can get cracking on my homework all day tomorrow, even though I would much rather be drawing or planning my stories, all of which seem to be multiplying but not growing.

Today was Matt and my 18-month anniversary as well, and this weekend made both of us realize just how much we love each other and are a permanent fixture in each other's lives. It's been such an amazing trip. From the very beginning it's been an uphill battle in a lot of ways simply because we're so different-- I'm a 21-year-old humanities student and Matt's a 36-year-old accountant, for starters. Our perspectives and opinions on things often vary greatly, we're gay, we met online (gasp!)... From the basic facts it might not look like something that could really work, and sometimes our differences make it hard, but it does work. A spark was there from the very beginning. There's an understanding between us that makes all our differences completely arbitrary and that connects us in a way I didn't even know it was possible to connect with someone. And here it is eighteen months later and that spark is stronger than ever. We're starting to talk about the future these days and are looking over our options; at some point in the next semester or so I might rent out my place and move in with him, or we might both sell our places and get one together. I don't know what's going to happen but I know I look forward to it, whatever it might be.

LONDON (Reuters) - It's official -- "Star Wars" has created almost 400,000 Jedis in Britain. Over 390,000 people wrote "Jedi" on their 2001 census form, more than those who registered their faith as Jewish, Buddhist or Sikh in the optional question on religion, the Office for National Statistics (ONS) said on Thursday. Same thing happened during the Australia census last year, if you'll recall. And people laugh when I say it's just a matter of time before a movie star is elected President here in the US... It's scary how the line between entertainment and real life is getting so blurred. But then I guess real life is becoming a scary place to be these days.

I am in the process of changing all my contact information, so please make a note:
email: aaron@lerve.com
AIM: osteai

In the class he teaches, my roommate assigned his students to write down a conversation they overheard. This is a copy I typed of one of the actual conversations that a student of his overheard and wrote down.

I'm literally sore from laughing.

I'm slowly getting my class situation sorted out. After running around campus and talking to a great many high-ups, I got both of my teachers to agree to write letters petitioning the Asst. Dean to delete the classes from my record-- although she still has the power to veto it, which is currently the only thing that could abruptly halt my current plan. I'm planning to delete my classes, then late-add my same Lit class as an Independent Study course since the material's entirely different; it was actually my teacher's idea. Then I want to sign up for a couple distance learning classes at the ILC. If the Asst. Dean vetoes the petitions to have my classes deleted I'll probably have to just withdraw for the semester. This is all a big convoluted mess, but at least it's not as big a convoluted mess as it was last Friday.

I noticed a couple days ago that my hair is growing back-- my eyebrows, mustache, scalp, &c. are all getting black baby fuzz. I'm also up to 140 pounds thanks to this giant roll of fat that has appeared all around my sides and stomach. Dammit I need more exercise!

Okay, I promise no more alcohol-inspired journal posts.

I have to talk my teachers into writing letters to the Asst. Dean asking her to ask the Registrar to drop the classes from my record so I can get a refund and sign up for some others. Most likely they will be from the Independent Learning Center, since it's six weeks into the semester and I think most professors would laugh in my face if I asked to switch into their classes now, regardless of the fact that I'd be more than willing to play Hyper Mega Lucky Lucky Catch-Up. I talked to my Lit teacher today and she said she'd be more than willing to write a letter, so half my battle's done. I'm talking to my Geography teacher tomorrow morning and hopefully I'll have similar luck. The very worst that can happen with all this is that I'll have to drop out completely for the semester, in which case I'd find a better job and work full time... Whatever happens, it's looking pretty certain that I'm going to spend the summer here taking classes to get back on track and hopefully get my foot in the door of the Creative Writing department. In related news I'm almost ready to start writing the story I've been thinking about for years and planning for months. My goal is to finish a novel before I graduate.

i am just liquored up enough to the pont that i can still remember tat i wantedt o make a post during my frist druken spell so i could look bac on it the neck morning and remember what it was like, so here it is! i reallt should do this more often. this is great. charlie is here and we've been having a lot of fu running all around town doing stuff, and tonight we did shots of some shitty vodka while watching "glitter." i recomend it to everyone.

I went to see my advisor to talk about my classes for next semester, mainly since I want to change majors and I'm not sure how to go about it, and we discovered that:

BOTH OF THE CLASSES I'M TAKING THIS SEMESTER
I TOOK IN SPRING 2002.

I must have somehow signed up for classes from my last completed semester instead of those from last semester. I am scheduled to talk to the registrar about this on Monday.

My god, I am so royally fucked. So, so fucked.

Today in Human Geography I learned all about azimuthal maps. I promise you it's as interesting and useful as it sounds.

Charlie's going to be coming down tomorrow instead of today, but I guess it might be good since I didn't get a chance to finish cleaning last night. And naturally the weather has turrned more bitterly cold and rainy today than it's been since I came back to school. I hope tomorrow is better.

I realized that I postponed and then completely forgot talking about the results of the CT scan I got last weekend; mainly because the news wasn't that great and I'm tired of dealing with it, I guess. The tumor in my lung isn't completely gone and they don't know whether it's just scar tissue left or what. I'm going back for another CT scan a month from now (ten days before my trip overseas with Matt), and if it's grown at all I'll have to go into sugery for it. I'd have to be in the hospital for four or five days. They would cut out the chunk of my lung with the tumor on it, which would cause the lung to collapse, so they'd have to keep a tube in it until it inflated itself again, and... yeah, I'm just hoping that I won't need the surgery. But part of me really wants it, though, because I'm tired of these "wait and see" games and I would almost rather take the much harder road now if it meant I could finally put all this behind me and move on. And then there's another part of me, a very important one, that remembers how grateful I need to be for the simple fact that I'm still alive, when there are many cancer patients who don't end up so lucky. I am a cancer survivor.

I've been going back and reading my journal posts from over the summer, from when I'd recovered from the surgeries to remove the first tumors and I was getting ready to start last semester. Looking over them now, I can remember the sheer joy and the pure wonder I felt for my life and the world around me when I was writing them, but now I can't do anything but wonder helplessly where all those feelings have gone. Everything felt so new and amazing and I felt so alive. Now I go through most of my days feeling impatient, cynical and irritated. I'm constantly frowning and I'm always acting mindless and frivolous. It isn't like me to be like this, and that just frustrates me even more. I would love to tell myself otherwise but the fact is I've become really bitter ever since the cancer returned and I had to go through chemo, and it's a horrible feeling that I just can't get past. I think I mentioned it before but now I seriously intend to go by the clinic next week and look into the free mental health services they offer, because I feel like I'm rotting away under all of this anger and hate, and knowing that mere months ago I was feeling more joyful and alive than I ever had in my life makes it that much worse.

I just got home from dinner at Matt's and now I am gathering my energy before cleaning the place thoroughly before Charlie gets here tomorrow night. It's gonna be so awesome to see him for the whole weekend! I have to find lots of cool stuff for us to do around town, besides get drunk and pimp each other out on Hancock St at 4 in the morning. ...Just thinking about that notion makes me laugh.

While at work today I picked up another shift, bringing me to four a week. Soon after that, though, I sat down, tallied up the numbers and came to the realization that I'm making about $384 a month-- but subtracting my housing costs that's gonna give me about $100 a month in play money. Wait, I forgot to subtract grocery costs so make that $50. And shit, I have to pay for gas too. Okay, well, you see my problem. I'm slaving for the and without a cent in my pocket! There has to be a better way to do this whole... you know... independent living... ... thing.

In any case, it's time to vacuum. Anyone wanna make a guess how many times I'm gonna have to empty the canister before I'm done?

Its always kind of amazing when something you hoped and planned for for an extended period of time blows up in your face in ways you never imagined. The past few weeks, for instance, I've been gathering the components needed to set up a cable network with my roommate (after six years I'm finally sick of dial-up). He found some hardware in his closet that he thought would work, so we set up everything the way we thought it was supposed to go, and somehow-- I'm still not exactly sure what happened-- it messed up both my ethernet card and my modem so badly that no matter how many times I removed and reinstalled them, they just wouldn't work. After messing with it for two days straight, in a fit of prolonged frustration I ended up backing up all my files and doing a complete system refresh on Sunday night, so since then I've been reinstalling all my hardware and software and messing with all the settings. But on the other hand, my system's running a lot better now than it has in years, and the hardware we really needed for the network came in the mail today. We got everything set up correctly and now I'm chizzilin' on my swanky new cable connection. I guess all's well that ends well, right? And I definitely know a lot more now about networking than I ever did before.

Other than messing with this, I've mainly just been going to work and seeing Matt and my friends. Charlie is going to drive down this weekend to hang out with me and I can't wait. This is something else I've been looking forward to for weeks but I'm positive it'll go much better than the network incident!